4 Ways to let the Hot Air OUT of your Anger

by Sue Detweiler

It’s the fourth of July and you want the fireworks that you experience as a family to be in the sky, not an explosion of anger in your home. To celebrate your freedom in Christ, lets talk about 4 steps to let some of the hot air out of your anger.

1. Laugh

I don’t know about you, but I need a dose of humor in order to be a good mom. It’s one of the things that as I look back at my mistakes as a parent, I wish I would have laughed more at the toddler mishaps. Experts say “a well-developed sense of humor can boost a person’s immune system, contribute to a more optimistic outlook on life, and increase self-esteem.”*

In tense situations laughter is good medicine – so laugh! Laugh at yourself and how intense you are. If you are too upset to laugh, take a break. Watch a fun movie to get your mind off the problem. Let the toxicity of the moment evaporate so that you are able to see the truth in the situation rather than the exaggerated details of your mind.

Bill Cosby said, “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. ”

2. Listen

When I become angry, usually it is a red flag that I am thinking negative thoughts that lead to irrational feelings. Usually I am putting myself and my goals before others. It’s in those moments that if I can silence myself and listen to God and listen to the needs of others. Even a cranky toddler can be communicating that they are tired and need a nap or hungry and need a snack. If I truly stop and listen I am more likely to respond in love rather than anger.

Become a good listener not only of words, but be a discerner of the deeper issues of the heart. Listen to find out what is really happening in the moment. Sometimes the words a person speaks is just camouflage for what they are feeling in the moment. Listen to the needs of others not just your own.

3. Learn

Part of walking with God is being a life-long learner of His ways. If we form a habit of regularly becoming irritable and angry even at the smallest issues with our families, we need to seek to learn a different way. We won’t learn if we continue to make excuses that “I’m a redhead and redheads get angry.” Rather, when we admit that we are wrong, confess our sins to another, we are on the path of learning a new way.

As a young mom when I was learning how to replace my anger with God’s love I would sit myself in time out. The girls were even cute enough to “pray for mommy.” I also began to talk about my anger as sin and to confess it openly to my husband, often in front of the children. I wanted them to know that it was not okay for me to respond in anger. Bringing my own anger into the light really helped me to get free.

4. Love

A mother’s love is unconditional. A mother’s love should not be based on whether or not your child followed all the rules. A mother’s love, like God’s love, sees the best in a child. Calls out the potential rather than criticizes their lack. A mother is able to draw out and encourage. A mother’s love is only able to heal the bruises and bumps of the world if it is completely anchored in God’s love.

Nothing is impossible for a mom who holds the world of her newborn baby in her hands. Love pushes over every wall of rejection and every fortress of rebellion.  Love conquers all.

As you laugh, listen, learn and love you will grow closer to God as you grow closer to your family. The anger of the moment will evaporate when you concentrate on walking in God’s fruit of love.

*http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/learning/funny_toddlers.html